At this moment, it seems expectations are often the culprit of any duress I may feel in my life. I do my best to stay in the moment and judge nothing. But darn if that is sometimes a very tall order for me! For many situations that happen, I find myself having some "observation" as to how and why it occurred, what I could have done to avoid or prevent it, and how to "fix" it or make it better! It is simply a gut instinct for me to want to "help" find solutions, offer options and stand beside someone as they make a choice. Fortunately, I have made major improvements in simply accepting what other's do, despite my experience that their choice will more than likely not have the results they think it might. There is something to be said about the wisdom that comes with age, and I seem to be gaining more of that all the time! For this moment, what is important for me to remember is that experience is what helps one develop wisdom. Oh, yes, we most certainly can learn from another person's choices; however, there is something very meaningful when we have to pick ourselves up by our boot straps and learn from our choices. IF we can pause and reflect on the situation in order to learn something from the experience, it most certainly will help us with the next "adventure." All of this is a good reminder for me to simply honor what a person chooses and let my "head" know it is not my place to have any expectations as to what the results may be. I need to remember, it is the other person's experiences that will help them develop wisdom. So, for this moment, I will simply honor what I know and be grateful for the wisdom that comes from courageously moving into the "unknown." After all, expectations are merely assumptions we make, and we all know what happens when we assume!

  Am I the only one who wonders how the diversity in political parties became a division? How the focus is on our differences rather than our commonality, leaving the real issues buried and not addressed? My observation is that division is a "hard place to fall!" It is my understanding our forefathers (and Mothers) came to this country to have the freedom to follow their beliefs -- and it has been that diversity of beliefs that has made our country rich, abundant and a place many from other countries continue to aspire to join. 
   So, I wonder, why it is our current "state of the union" is one in which we see "Democrats" and "Republicans?|" And those "independence" are merely rebels seeking a cause. It is one thing to allow one's heart to guide him/her in a direction that feels more in alignment with his/her current view of what is best for our country and quite another thing to see him/her as "Right" or "Wrong."It seems to me each person has a unique quality they can add to the community in which they live, and when respected by being heard, a shred of commonality can be discovered.
  I am just wondering, what if, each of us were brave and spoke from our hearts, would our actions actually give our "neighbor" permission to share their insights? Could we actually find peaceful solutions to any given situation by simply being willing to hear another person's perspective?
  I do not have an answer to that question, I can only do my part to listen to another as they speak. I may not agree with their views; however, if I really listen, I will, more than likely, hear their heart telling me who they are and what they dream their world to be. What I have learned is everyone wants to be loved! Somehow, through the individual "eyes" of our community, we can "see" that everyone is seeking the same thing - we just have different ways of finding it. And, we really have more in common with our neighbor than we have differences.
  I just wonder what our country would look like if we took the immortal wisdom of the Father in the Brady Bunch and simply saw people in their underwear when they speak. Perhaps we would find the humanness in the person speaking rather than not hear what they say because we are so busy formulating our response, that is to say, our point of view to show them how "wrong" they are!
  I think about such things alot; and I just wonder..

  Wrapped tightly in my winter coat, neck scarf, boots and gloves, I secured myself into my car as comfortably as I could given the frigid temperatures. Grateful for a dependable car, "she" started with the first crank! After a few moments to warm up, "we" emerged from the garage into the bitter cold and onto a light dusting of freshly fallen snow. It was a winter wonderland  as my body tightened from the frigid temps... It eagerly awaited the warmth of the heater to relax. The body is an amazing "machine" that knows precisely what to do to keep it working!
  So, off I went to have lunch with my granddaughter. It had been a while since I had seen her and she had just completed her first few weeks of college. I knew there was much she would have to share about her new, grown-up experience! After a few more moments, my clinched body began to warm and I could feel my tense muscle begin to relax.
  As I took a few deep breaths to assist my body with "unclinching," I felt grateful to be back home where loved ones abound. Does our family have "drama;" conflict, upheavals, disputes, frustrations? Absolutely! Yet my heart is grateful the love we feel for each other is so much stronger than any "earthly" situations. We are a resourceful family that respects each other's differences, confronts frustrations, and seeks to find solutions. For the most part, we treat each other as we want to be treated! For all of this, I am most grateful! 
  Upon arrival at the restaurant, my now very warm and relaxed body, prepared to re-enter the frigid temperatures. As I turned the key to disengage my car, I noticed beneath my boots was something white on the floor mats. My thoughts went quickly from "ah, residue of snow," to the realization that it was sand! All the way from the beaches of Englewood and Siesta Key in Sarasota, the white substance rested between the grooves of the black floor mats. I could not help but smile to realize what a drastic change had occurred within a few short days. From the record heat of Florida, to the frigid temps in Indiana, it was the same person driving the car, yet the environment surrounding her was dramatically different. It then occurred to me, what a gift life brings us. We have so many opportunities to feel different emotions, dress according to the weather and still the basic human heart is the same. 
  For this moment, I am grateful for the wintry snow outside, and the warmth of my home as my heart feels the security of love that offers such diverse beauty to the inhabitants of Earth. We, truly have a divine, loving Mother and Father that reminds us how quickly things can change. From the white snow of Indiana to the white sands of Florida, we have the gift from Creator to remind us whatever we are experiencing will change! All this from "Sand in my Floor mats!"

  Sleep eludes me tonight as I consider the journey of parenting. After recently returning to the role of Guidance counselor at a high school for a brief month, I am reminded what strength and courage it takes to be the parent of a teenager. While each situation is very unique, there are many commonalities involved with parenting teenagers.
  We had a case conference with the mother of four children, two of which are teenagers, and the weariness on her face brought back memories of thousands of other such faces I've seen over my twenty plus years as a Guidance counselor. Searching for answers as to what to do to help one's child move through the ever changing dynamics of puberty - such things as adjusting to different teachers personalities and teaching styles to moving through friendships as peers begin to develop new ways to express their changing personalities and beliefs. All this while the young person is finding their emotions moving through a gamut of feelings that have yet to be explored.
  What one needs through such times of changing dynamics within and without is a stable base; something or someone that is a constant. That is to say, a "soft place to land," as Dr. Phil likes to say! That "place" is generally a person, although it may literally be a physical place to which one can go and pause, reflect, remember and reconnect to simpler times.
  The interesting dilemma is the caregiver is more than likely moving through such significant life changes at the same time as the young person! That creates quick a situation for both parties! What once worked so well, contributed to the emotional and mental stability for a person is now uprooted and rather than being a "safe place" becomes a source of disappointment and upheaval. Parents that once managed the relationship with their children very well, now wonder what alien has taken them over!
  For the young person who used to think their caregiver was the "center of their universe" there is confusion over how to not be so attached. They truly begin to think about how they will manage their life separate from their caregiver(s). Unfortunately, for most young people, those feelings are not always "available" for them to clearly understand, hence, they express their fear with seeming distaste for the one they used to so deeply need. Most generally it is a bloody collision course!
  The simple truth is, both caregiver and child need each other. They need to somehow manage to keep the life cycle changes within the context for which it is occurring - both of them need to remember the love that binds them. In the final analysis, it is the caregiver that must summons the strength to remember that simple truth. They must pray for strength to move through their changes and keep their anchor in the remembering of what it was like to be an adolescent beginning their journey into adulthood.
  My heart is heavy for caregivers confronting such life situations. I remember all too well how overwhelming it felt to look at my beautiful child and wonder if I could have done something different so my child did not have to experience such pangs of frustration - and, at the same time, I prayed for the time to arrive when they would leave home! Oh what guilt I felt about such feelings! As in all life's situations, looking back somehow erases the deep doubt, inner struggle and downright "yucky" feelings and all that is left is the laughter that comes from sharing the stories of the "survival!"
  I could not tell that mother who shed tears of frustration and fear in front of me today that one day she would laugh about the situation, all I could do was listen to her heart, offer a few recommendations for finding the support she needs and add her to my long list of prayers. I know she and her children will one day laugh about this period in time. but not before there are many tears shed between them. That "soft spot" never changes - it is the unconditional love that helps us find the balance in our lives to move through life's journey! And it is the one contributing factor that helps us become better human beings! When one is loved through the "awkward" times when we have no idea who we are, it helps us find our own inner strength; and it teaches us how to love others unconditionally! Ah, parenting - it is the greatest joy and biggest fear one can experience! What a tremendous gift for those willing to have their heart completely opened!

While waiting in line to pay for the items needed to prepare our family Gathering, a conversation between the clerk and the customer in front of me could be heard. One was commenting about the Christmas decorations and how Thanksgiving seemed to be "lost." As the person in front of me began to pay for her merchandise, I commented how interesting it is that being grateful seemed to be sandwiched between Halloween and Christmas and how it seemed most important to take the time to be thankful - they both agreed.

In the same day, a man and I were standing in front of two adjoining cash registers checking out and the cashier asked him how he was celebrating Thanksgiving. He commented his children would be seeing "his ex-wife" so he planned to get some work done around the house. As he took his merchandise, he said to the cashier, "Thanksgiving's no big deal to me, I'm not a pilgrim."

As we gather with our friends, families, or simply choose to be alone, my wish for all of us is that we take the time to consider the amazing gifts we have every day. Even those events that hurt our heart give us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and choose to create the life we desire. It is that simple. However, if we merely focus on the "commercial" side of holidays, we may miss the opportunity to notice the amazing gift we have to create the life our hearts want. 

Today I will be a "pilgrim!" I will take the time to listen and explore my heart. I will respect it enough to ask what it feels and needs. I have learned to do this after having it closed for many years when I was "asleep" and did not realize I had a choice. I am grateful for the return of love I see every day in the brave men, women and children that are asking for what they need from a basic human emotional level; rather than the material one. From the lady who noticed the "oversight" of Thanksgiving, to the man who heart needs heard, I am given the reminder to take the time to notice the condition of my heart and take action to create exactly what I want to see more of in my life, and in the world!
 

  As I look out my bedroom window I see one star shining brightly in the East. Sort of reminds me of the star that led the shepherds to baby Jesus! That may sound a bit "grandiose" but that's the first thing that pops in my head. What is most interesting is it was there when I went to bed - does that sound unusual or what? So, as I notice it sparkling in the still dark morning sky, I wonder what's beyond this place I call "home" and what is its message to me?
  I like thinking of such things, it somehow helps me know there is something beyond the experiences I have here on Earth. I am comforted in the reminder I am not alone ... ever! As I gaze at the night sky I imagine my ancestors watching over me and it brings great comfort to my heart. I imagine some of you have lost someone during your lifetime as I have, but it somehow brings a warm feeling to my heart to feel that he or she is not really very far away. 
  And so this morning, as the hint of dawn dims the brilliance of the one star out the East window of my bedroom, I send my gratitude to my loved one, my ancestors, to the Creator for providing me yet another reminder how very loved and watched over I am, and for the assurance that although I may not "see" them, they are always with me! And for the reminder, that if I pay attention, I am always being guided throughout my walk here on Earth.

  It is not always easy to learn things about yourself, and yet, it is the very way in which we become better human beings. Case in point: It was brought to my attention that some of my writings seems to be "pointing the finger." That is to say, it is as though "I" am exempt from the teachings in which I write about. That was a very important awareness for which I am most grateful to have been brought to my attention.
  Everything I write about is from personal experience. Every emotion, disappointment, perplexity, joy and silliness comes from my life! I was taught to get the "I" out of the conversation so as to not put the focus on me. It is a way to notice the "ego" that is so readily willing to emerge! Therefore, most of my writing excludes the "I." Be assured the writings come from my heart where every attempt is made to understand life, relationships and other such perplexities that comes from human actions and reactions.
  Being vigilant with observing my thoughts, words and actions is at the forefront of my life and it is my hope what is shared offers anyone interested an opportunity to pause, reflect and examine his or her life as well. The Mayan have a saying, "You are another myself," and when we look into the great Smoking Mirror, hopefully, we can see what is beautiful, possible and waiting to be loved! I am humbled by my friend's honesty!