Sleep eludes me tonight as I consider the journey of parenting. After recently returning to the role of Guidance counselor at a high school for a brief month, I am reminded what strength and courage it takes to be the parent of a teenager. While each situation is very unique, there are many commonalities involved with parenting teenagers.
  We had a case conference with the mother of four children, two of which are teenagers, and the weariness on her face brought back memories of thousands of other such faces I've seen over my twenty plus years as a Guidance counselor. Searching for answers as to what to do to help one's child move through the ever changing dynamics of puberty - such things as adjusting to different teachers personalities and teaching styles to moving through friendships as peers begin to develop new ways to express their changing personalities and beliefs. All this while the young person is finding their emotions moving through a gamut of feelings that have yet to be explored.
  What one needs through such times of changing dynamics within and without is a stable base; something or someone that is a constant. That is to say, a "soft place to land," as Dr. Phil likes to say! That "place" is generally a person, although it may literally be a physical place to which one can go and pause, reflect, remember and reconnect to simpler times.
  The interesting dilemma is the caregiver is more than likely moving through such significant life changes at the same time as the young person! That creates quick a situation for both parties! What once worked so well, contributed to the emotional and mental stability for a person is now uprooted and rather than being a "safe place" becomes a source of disappointment and upheaval. Parents that once managed the relationship with their children very well, now wonder what alien has taken them over!
  For the young person who used to think their caregiver was the "center of their universe" there is confusion over how to not be so attached. They truly begin to think about how they will manage their life separate from their caregiver(s). Unfortunately, for most young people, those feelings are not always "available" for them to clearly understand, hence, they express their fear with seeming distaste for the one they used to so deeply need. Most generally it is a bloody collision course!
  The simple truth is, both caregiver and child need each other. They need to somehow manage to keep the life cycle changes within the context for which it is occurring - both of them need to remember the love that binds them. In the final analysis, it is the caregiver that must summons the strength to remember that simple truth. They must pray for strength to move through their changes and keep their anchor in the remembering of what it was like to be an adolescent beginning their journey into adulthood.
  My heart is heavy for caregivers confronting such life situations. I remember all too well how overwhelming it felt to look at my beautiful child and wonder if I could have done something different so my child did not have to experience such pangs of frustration - and, at the same time, I prayed for the time to arrive when they would leave home! Oh what guilt I felt about such feelings! As in all life's situations, looking back somehow erases the deep doubt, inner struggle and downright "yucky" feelings and all that is left is the laughter that comes from sharing the stories of the "survival!"
  I could not tell that mother who shed tears of frustration and fear in front of me today that one day she would laugh about the situation, all I could do was listen to her heart, offer a few recommendations for finding the support she needs and add her to my long list of prayers. I know she and her children will one day laugh about this period in time. but not before there are many tears shed between them. That "soft spot" never changes - it is the unconditional love that helps us find the balance in our lives to move through life's journey! And it is the one contributing factor that helps us become better human beings! When one is loved through the "awkward" times when we have no idea who we are, it helps us find our own inner strength; and it teaches us how to love others unconditionally! Ah, parenting - it is the greatest joy and biggest fear one can experience! What a tremendous gift for those willing to have their heart completely opened!

While waiting in line to pay for the items needed to prepare our family Gathering, a conversation between the clerk and the customer in front of me could be heard. One was commenting about the Christmas decorations and how Thanksgiving seemed to be "lost." As the person in front of me began to pay for her merchandise, I commented how interesting it is that being grateful seemed to be sandwiched between Halloween and Christmas and how it seemed most important to take the time to be thankful - they both agreed.

In the same day, a man and I were standing in front of two adjoining cash registers checking out and the cashier asked him how he was celebrating Thanksgiving. He commented his children would be seeing "his ex-wife" so he planned to get some work done around the house. As he took his merchandise, he said to the cashier, "Thanksgiving's no big deal to me, I'm not a pilgrim."

As we gather with our friends, families, or simply choose to be alone, my wish for all of us is that we take the time to consider the amazing gifts we have every day. Even those events that hurt our heart give us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and choose to create the life we desire. It is that simple. However, if we merely focus on the "commercial" side of holidays, we may miss the opportunity to notice the amazing gift we have to create the life our hearts want. 

Today I will be a "pilgrim!" I will take the time to listen and explore my heart. I will respect it enough to ask what it feels and needs. I have learned to do this after having it closed for many years when I was "asleep" and did not realize I had a choice. I am grateful for the return of love I see every day in the brave men, women and children that are asking for what they need from a basic human emotional level; rather than the material one. From the lady who noticed the "oversight" of Thanksgiving, to the man who heart needs heard, I am given the reminder to take the time to notice the condition of my heart and take action to create exactly what I want to see more of in my life, and in the world!
 

  As I look out my bedroom window I see one star shining brightly in the East. Sort of reminds me of the star that led the shepherds to baby Jesus! That may sound a bit "grandiose" but that's the first thing that pops in my head. What is most interesting is it was there when I went to bed - does that sound unusual or what? So, as I notice it sparkling in the still dark morning sky, I wonder what's beyond this place I call "home" and what is its message to me?
  I like thinking of such things, it somehow helps me know there is something beyond the experiences I have here on Earth. I am comforted in the reminder I am not alone ... ever! As I gaze at the night sky I imagine my ancestors watching over me and it brings great comfort to my heart. I imagine some of you have lost someone during your lifetime as I have, but it somehow brings a warm feeling to my heart to feel that he or she is not really very far away. 
  And so this morning, as the hint of dawn dims the brilliance of the one star out the East window of my bedroom, I send my gratitude to my loved one, my ancestors, to the Creator for providing me yet another reminder how very loved and watched over I am, and for the assurance that although I may not "see" them, they are always with me! And for the reminder, that if I pay attention, I am always being guided throughout my walk here on Earth.

  It is not always easy to learn things about yourself, and yet, it is the very way in which we become better human beings. Case in point: It was brought to my attention that some of my writings seems to be "pointing the finger." That is to say, it is as though "I" am exempt from the teachings in which I write about. That was a very important awareness for which I am most grateful to have been brought to my attention.
  Everything I write about is from personal experience. Every emotion, disappointment, perplexity, joy and silliness comes from my life! I was taught to get the "I" out of the conversation so as to not put the focus on me. It is a way to notice the "ego" that is so readily willing to emerge! Therefore, most of my writing excludes the "I." Be assured the writings come from my heart where every attempt is made to understand life, relationships and other such perplexities that comes from human actions and reactions.
  Being vigilant with observing my thoughts, words and actions is at the forefront of my life and it is my hope what is shared offers anyone interested an opportunity to pause, reflect and examine his or her life as well. The Mayan have a saying, "You are another myself," and when we look into the great Smoking Mirror, hopefully, we can see what is beautiful, possible and waiting to be loved! I am humbled by my friend's honesty!

  I am thinking this morning about prayer. In particular, my heart is asking for this storm heading to the East coast to be more gentle than they are speculating it will be. Of course, the media likes to "hype" everything up to excite us into concern so that we become glued to our TV's. However, this morning my heart called to me to send gentleness and love to "Sandy." In life I do that for those I know who are angry, sad, confused, so why not send loving thoughts toward such a powerful storm that can bring such wrath to that section of the world. 

  So, those thoughts led me to consider prayer. That word is used often when we speak of needing some assistance, clarity or simply a more comfortable state of being. Whatever a person's religious views, prayer seems to be a universally accepted word that means the same thing for many different faiths. It is an act of compassion. Therefore, it is my request those of you that read this pause for a few moments and send heart-felt gentleness to "Sandy." Just maybe she will feel the powerful energy that love brings and move out to the ocean, or at the very least, lessen her intensity. Just as the cold front, pull of the tides and the full moon are influencing her, join me as we pray for gentleness and peace. It is most certainly worth a try! And who knows, we may learn a little more about the power of Prayer!

   An "unexpected" rain storm, complete with thunder and lightning, arrived this morning. Despite all the technology used to track weather an "unpredicted" storm no doubt work many sleeping families. As I enjoyed the mysterious event, it occurred to me how life presents such "unexpected" events as well. I may be moving through life with grace and ease and seemingly out of no where comes a fierce bolt of "weather."
  Despite my preparation for life, (if there is such a thing!) such happenings all too often shake me at my roots and bring me directly into the present moment. For me, it is a reminder of the very insignificant control I have in life. I can do my best to "follow the rules" of being a compassionate human being to those around me, and yet, other humans also have a chose as to how to exist in this world. The things I think, say and do may be well intended, and yet someone may interpret them in a completely different way then my intentions. 
  It is a slippery slope we walk in this human experience, and yet, we continue to re-experience life here on Earth. Perhaps it's the "meteorology" of life that keeps us on our toes and on the "watch" for those bolts of lightning that come so unexpectedly. Whatever the case be, life does offer us the opportunity to pay attention and move through the "weather" of life so that we may be of service. I have found that such unexpected events can teach me something I may have taken for granted that needs to be shape-shifted into a new way of moving through life. 
   As the rumble of thunder resounds outside I am grateful for the opportunity to really pay attention to my thoughts, words and deeds. For without being present, I can easily fall back to sleep and ignore the gift of change that such events bring. Instead, I can move into the place of judgment of myself and/or others as a way of making sense of those "bolts of lightning!" Just as the weather cannot always be predicted, neither can the circumstances of life that happens when I least expect it.
   
 





















 

  As the temps cool and color blankets the landscape now is a good time to begin the journey inward. Life offers diverse opportunities from which to experience the richness of being human. With spring we greet the newness of growth as we eagerly welcome the warmth, color and freshness that comes after a long winter's rest. 

  Next is the carefree experience of summer that offers us time to gather with friends, drink cold lemonade, eat the fresh veggies and fruits of our gardens and enjoy the coolness of our favorite "swimming hole." After a very hot summer, life now offers us the opportunity to snuggle into warm clothes, tell stories around a campfire, and enjoy the briskness Fall's beauty. 

  What a marvelous time to begin our journey into our hearts and homes as we move into the Holiday season's in front of us. From the "spooky" time of Halloween, grateful time of Thanksgiving, to the celebration of the Western world's Christmas, time is set aside to gather with friends and family and catch up on what has unfolded in each of our lives. 

  Pause for a moment, if you will, and consider the diversity of colors Fall presents. It just might help you appreciate the many facets of life that awaits your presence! Choose to really "see" life and appreciate what is truly important. The distractions offered by daily life experiences are really of little value in the big scheme of things. Join me and choose to really "Fall" into life! Earth is such a beautiful place to be!