Love . . .

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  Love – what an amazing gift! With Love, you can face literally any experience put in front of you.  Starting a new job? Considering a move to another location? Finally finding the courage to try something new? Scared out of your wits about the state of the economy, government, and the world? Wondering if your health will improve? If your new idea will be taken seriously? If that new person you just met feels butterflies in his or hers belly like you do in yours? And, what about confidence? Tired of feeling less than your colleagues, siblings, best friend, or holding a grudge over something someone said or did?
  Any and everything a person confronts can be made safe, clear, comforting, confident, courageous, forgiven and any other word needed for a situation with a good doze of Love. And yet, Love is the one thing that scares the bejesus out of us! Isn’t that most interesting?
  While we wish and dream of being in Love, it is also the thing we fear the most. How is it that Love can send us soaring to new heights and plummet us to the depths of despair? Perhaps it is fear of losing it that keeps us from finding it; or at the very least, from looking for it. And, yet, Love is the one most crucial emotion every single being on this planet (and probably beyond) needs to thrive. Whether it is a plant, animal or human, every being grows stronger, bigger, and more beautiful when it is Loved.
  After my second marriage ended, I closed my heart to the possibility of another relationship. While I dated and “pretended” I wanted someone, I was really scared to death to trust my heart. It seemed to me my heart had “failed me.” As silly as that sounds, that is precisely how I felt. On some subconscious level, I made the decision to build a huge wall around my heart in order to keep it from being hurt again. But, you know the really interesting part? One day I realized that it was the Love I had for my heart that built that wall. Doesn’t that make you smile?
  So, indeed, John Lennon said it well, “All you need is Love,” and all the rough spots in life will be made smooth, all wounds healed, new inventions created, insecurities overcome, old hurts forgiven, and all the dreams you can imagine can come to fruition with Love. I simply Love that truth!

   


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"Thinking"

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  I was fortunate to have one-on-one time with one of my sons the other day to catch-up with each other’s comings and goings.  Interesting how busy we can become and how most communication today is done through electronic means rather then face-to-face, or over the phone. But that is another subject for another day.
  The next day I took something to him and once again, it was just the two of us. (Golly, the blessings just keep appearing!) I took the opportunity to tell him about some thoughts I had after our conversation the day before. He quickly said, “Mom, don’t overthink this, you seem to process everything,” or something close to those words. I looked at his face and said, “I do think about things, and I realized that I really did not encourage you to talk more about how you felt about what you told me.” With that, we had conversation on a deeper level.
  True to my son’s observations, I left “thinking about thinking,” and what I realized was there are many reasons a person chooses to “think some more” about something. Sometimes people continue to think about conversations so they can understand the person more clearly, and to be certain one understands another, we often need to ask more questions. 
  Feelings are a vital aspect in the words that are spoken. It is one thing to hear someone talk, and quite another to recognize the feelings behind those words. It is in those feelings we learn how to love and support people in our life.
  All too often we think about conversations only to figure out what they meant, if we did or said anything to offend them, or to help a person figure things out.  If we choose the later, we may then begin thinking about solutions or options. All of that is positive in that the intentions come from a place of being helpful. However, if we do not listen to the feelings, any action we take can be interpreted as thinking we know more then they do, and that often only feeds the feelings behind the words. Fact of the matter is, more times then not, it often feeds the dilemma in the situation being shared.
  In my many years working with people I have learned that often simply knowing someone really hears your feelings is the best assistance needed in nearly every situation. There is much clarity that comes when someone you speak to can reflect back to you what they hear you feeling. And, you know, if the feeling they observe doesn’t seem to fit for you, then you have another avenue for more conversation by sharing what you do feel.

  We don’t want to be psychotherapist; there are qualified people to do that. What we want is to be compassionate human beings, and connecting to others in real conversation, where a person talks and the other person listens is the only way to truly develop that skill. So, consider “thinking” to seek more understand and see what happens.


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Mother's Day 2014

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

    It is that time of year to "officially" honor our mothers, so I would like to say a few things about mine. My mother was a June Cleaver, or for the younger group, a Mrs. Brady (darn if I can remember her first name, but you know of whom I speak.) Mother was a stay at home mom. She tended the needs of our family with much love. She was a woman of few words, absolutely adored my father and was tremendously grateful for her family, especially her children.  She could make a meal from absolutely nothing but flour, eggs and milk, and clothes from the material sacks that held cooking flour; she was amazingly resourceful.

  My mother had a difficult life growing up; it was a time when our country was rebounding from the Great depression and her family struggled to make ends meet. Her mother, my beloved Granny, was a strong, outspoken woman who was the epitome of a hard worker. Granny was a “marked woman,” in that she was divorced. Despite being in an abusive relationship, working outside the home when her husband couldn’t because of his drinking, she was viewed as “less than” a married woman. Furthermore, back then, women truly made a fraction of the wages a man made despite doing the same job. So, my mother and two of her three brothers spent several years in an orphanage.
  From the events of her childhood, my mother was determined to provide the type of home for her family that her heart ached to have experienced. And, that is precisely what my mother did. She married, had five children, used the skills of living within the means you are given and showered her children with abundant love.
  Economically, we were a poor family, and yet, we were rich with the knowing we were loved above all things of this world. We were also taught what it meant to be loved by a Heavenly Father and to know we were absolutely never alone. It is from that place of unconditional love, the security of knowing that everything we needed would be provided, that my mother taught me how to love so deeply.
  For that, and a hundred other beautiful things I learned from my mother and my Granny, I celebrate the strength and wisdom in action of a mother’s unconditional love. With deepest respect, I honor my mother, Granny and all women who hold the position of “Mother!”
  


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Check out, "This Moon" tab!

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

The Clan Mother for May, Listening Woman, has been posted.


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Dirt

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  Yesterday I got to play in the dirt! After a very long, cold and snowy winter, what a joy it was to have my hands in the dirt. Turning the soil, weeding through the clumps of growth left from George's tractor absolutely fed my soul. The smell of the dirt filled my whole being with anticipation of what is to come. 

  Broccoli, tomatoes, zucchini, summer squash, sweet potatoes, okra and every color of sweet pepper you can imagine were carefully and strategically placed in the newly turned soil. Worms were plentiful and seemed as grateful to see the light of day and feel the warmth of the air as is this "yankee" human! It was an hour of play that fed my heart and soul! 
  Now for the "gifts" planted within the dirt to feed the bodies of those that gather around the feasting table of this land as we laugh, play and enjoy the bounty Creator has placed in front of us! How grateful I am for dirt!  


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Ponder

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  Sometimes I simply “sit” and think, and other times, I “lie” down and think. Either way, during my life, I have spent a lot of time pondering what it all means. I have tried very hard not to make judgments about choices I have made, or actions I have chosen, and yet, I often ponder what I have learned from it all.

   There are so many articles, songs, books, videos, and other mediums of sharing perspectives from which to consider what life is all about. And yet, it seems the answers to my pondering times generally leave me with even more questions.  So for this moment, I am doing my very best to simply observe what my eyes see, what scents fill that air, and what my skin feels when the wind blows. There are so many other senses to use to observe life, so many other “teachers” from which I can gain a deeper understanding of life.


  The humming birds have returned to my area. I believe I will allow the sweetness of their presence to teach me about simply being in the moment. How absolutely diverse in color, markings, even the sound of their tiny wings are available to enjoy. Surely there is something for me to notice that will help me understand what I have missed with all the times I have spent “pondering!” Hmm, I don’t have to “think” for a moment to know the answer to that one!


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Let it rain!

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  It is a gentle rain outside that reminds me of the importance tears play in my life. It seems my emotions have been raw and, well, vulnerable. Yep, vulnerable, that is the best word to describe how raw my feelings have been.
  I have spent my entire life being strong, together, composed, “in control.” Perhaps that is why at this point in my life, my whole human essence is feeling the depth of emotions being felt on this planet at this moment in time.
  These raw emotions are both happy and sad. Of recent, even having a belly laugh brings tears. My emotions are not prejudice! The depths of genuine feelings my heart feels can barely be put into words. They are coming from a place that has been hidden for everyone, even myself.
  Perhaps emotions play that part in our lives, just as we play the role in our chosen professions. We learn the duties, what is acceptable and what is to be kept “in check” for the sake of order, harmony, whatever word fits the situation. If that is the case, my emotions have felt the freedom of retirement to finally be unleashed, felt to the fullest magnitude, without limitations.
  Hmm, that is an interesting realization. No doubt during my life I constantly sought balance, the “middle ground” that could help me make sense of life’s experiences. Probably more importantly, I have sought to understand the actions of others so I might be in relationship, maintain order, and show respect for other people’s opinions and views. In my career, there were a multitude of times in which students and parents presented situations that made my heart feel heavy. I could not understand how people could treated those they claim to love the way they did. In order to stay detached from those personal feelings, I put them aside so that I might be available to help the individual and/or family find fair and compassionate solutions. It took much prayer and a whole lot of breathing!

  Yep, that makes sense. And so, I listen to the sweetness of the rain and know, that just as the rain supports and enhances the beauty of what has been dormant during the winter months, so my tears allow my soul to grow, expand and empty the “recycling bin” within. I am grateful for this awareness; it helps me accept the vulnerability of such emotions that will open to door to deeper understanding, compassion and true, unconditional love. I say, “Let it rain!”


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