The ten-second pause

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  What does the word “discipline” really mean? Generally when that word is used we think of child rearing.  However, the word discipline is also referenced when some form of correction is deemed necessary in order to bring someone back into alignment with established guidelines set by an organization.
  Most everyone understands the necessity for rules, guidelines, some form of system by which a person’s behavior is monitored and/or goals are accomplished. That is to say, it is a way to hold people responsible for his/her actions. If everyone did exactly what they wanted at any given moment without consideration of the consequences on those around them, in time there soon would be some form of unrest with the masses.
  Case in point; consider the violent acts we witness through reports provided by the media. Obviously, the shooter/stabber/bomber took action with little regard for the consequences of his/hers choices on those with which he/she administered specific actions. There certainly was only the rage within the individual that guided the perpetrator’s actions.
  I wonder what the world would look like if we were taught from birth that every action we take has a consequence? Consider what parenting would look like if our actions were guided by such a concept, and, more importantly, imagine how society would “look.”
  It is a subtle yet powerful shift from controlling others by fear of punishment to one that empowers others to pause and consider their actions before taking an action. It seems to me the power is in the pause . . . a simple ten-second pause. Would that simple act change the world?

  As in literally everything that happens, it begins within each individual. Each of us must choose to change the way in which we exist in the world.  What a concept, to begin looking within our own self first before pointing the finger at someone else for why the world is in the state of flux it is.  What a powerful place to begin; to actually look inward for the inner wisdom for guidance before asking someone else what to do. Second opinions are often times helpful; however, seeking answers outside oneself first does not support the development of self-discipline. Perhaps when one practices the ten-second pause he/she will find that self-discipline is all that is needed to create a world that works for everyone. Just something to consider. 


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Cowboy Coffee Cake

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

 Let me share a story with you. About ten days ago, I had a book signing in NC. Obviously, because I lived there for 8 years, I have several very sweet friends that I decided to take a few days and visit with prior to the book signing. It was an absolutely beautiful drive down, the weather was gorgeous, the air clean and fresh; and, as the Smokey’s do for me, my soul was filled with love. There is something absolutely amazing about those lush, green, mountains that stir my heart as nothing else can do.

 It was my second day there when my tummy began to get my attention. After a visit to the white buffalo that lives behind the cabin I use to own, that I felt heaviness in my belly. Two of my friends from Martinsville joined me the next day and despite all the positive self-talk I could do, my body became warm with fever and all I could do was sleep.

 Two days later I am sitting at the book signing doing my best to be cheerful and upbeat. It was, indeed, the mountains in the backdrop that make the day tolerable. Well, let me be honest, I had a delicious ice cream cone that certainly cooled my belly for a few moments!

 The drive back the next day was not very pleasant and when I got home the first thing I did was take my temperature; it was 101. The next day was Memorial Day and once again, I lay low and slept. It was another two days when I prayed to Creator to give my body some relief. My son highly recommended I see the doctor, so I did dig out her number. When I found out she was out until 4 that afternoon, I told my body, “OK, one more day and we’re going to the doctor. You better get well!”

 That evening as I lay in bed having this conversation with my body, all I could think about was homemade cookies. Being conscience of the calories I take in, especially from sugar, I decided they were too rich and full of fat and sugar. It was then I thought of my mother’s infamous coffee cake. It had been years since I thought of that delicious creation. So, I drug myself out of bed, retrieved my mother’s recipe and commenced making “Cowboy Coffee Cake.”

 I do not know what it was about that cinnamon smell that filled the air, but I couldn’t eat a piece fast enough when it came out of the oven. The tasty morsel moved along my palate, down to my achy belly and all I could do was moan! It was the best thing I had eaten in eons!


 Now, here’s the kicker. When I woke up the next morning, I felt better. I took my temperature and for the first time in a week, it was normal. You may be thinking, “How can that be? What in the world could make a coffee cake remedy a weeklong bellyache?" Well, I call it comfort food. There was something in looking at the handwritten recipe on an yellowing aged white index card that began the healing process. When the smell filled the air with cinnamon, memories flooded in of my childhood, the sweetness of having my mother make everything from scratch when the cabinets seemed too bare to possibly be enough to make something to eat. My mother was like that, she could make something out of nothing and have it fill your belly with the comforting warmth of love that anything that ailed you could be immediately healed. All that from Cowboy Coffee Cake! It is one of those mysteries only the heart understands.


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Love . . .

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  Love – what an amazing gift! With Love, you can face literally any experience put in front of you.  Starting a new job? Considering a move to another location? Finally finding the courage to try something new? Scared out of your wits about the state of the economy, government, and the world? Wondering if your health will improve? If your new idea will be taken seriously? If that new person you just met feels butterflies in his or hers belly like you do in yours? And, what about confidence? Tired of feeling less than your colleagues, siblings, best friend, or holding a grudge over something someone said or did?
  Any and everything a person confronts can be made safe, clear, comforting, confident, courageous, forgiven and any other word needed for a situation with a good doze of Love. And yet, Love is the one thing that scares the bejesus out of us! Isn’t that most interesting?
  While we wish and dream of being in Love, it is also the thing we fear the most. How is it that Love can send us soaring to new heights and plummet us to the depths of despair? Perhaps it is fear of losing it that keeps us from finding it; or at the very least, from looking for it. And, yet, Love is the one most crucial emotion every single being on this planet (and probably beyond) needs to thrive. Whether it is a plant, animal or human, every being grows stronger, bigger, and more beautiful when it is Loved.
  After my second marriage ended, I closed my heart to the possibility of another relationship. While I dated and “pretended” I wanted someone, I was really scared to death to trust my heart. It seemed to me my heart had “failed me.” As silly as that sounds, that is precisely how I felt. On some subconscious level, I made the decision to build a huge wall around my heart in order to keep it from being hurt again. But, you know the really interesting part? One day I realized that it was the Love I had for my heart that built that wall. Doesn’t that make you smile?
  So, indeed, John Lennon said it well, “All you need is Love,” and all the rough spots in life will be made smooth, all wounds healed, new inventions created, insecurities overcome, old hurts forgiven, and all the dreams you can imagine can come to fruition with Love. I simply Love that truth!

   


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"Thinking"

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  I was fortunate to have one-on-one time with one of my sons the other day to catch-up with each other’s comings and goings.  Interesting how busy we can become and how most communication today is done through electronic means rather then face-to-face, or over the phone. But that is another subject for another day.
  The next day I took something to him and once again, it was just the two of us. (Golly, the blessings just keep appearing!) I took the opportunity to tell him about some thoughts I had after our conversation the day before. He quickly said, “Mom, don’t overthink this, you seem to process everything,” or something close to those words. I looked at his face and said, “I do think about things, and I realized that I really did not encourage you to talk more about how you felt about what you told me.” With that, we had conversation on a deeper level.
  True to my son’s observations, I left “thinking about thinking,” and what I realized was there are many reasons a person chooses to “think some more” about something. Sometimes people continue to think about conversations so they can understand the person more clearly, and to be certain one understands another, we often need to ask more questions. 
  Feelings are a vital aspect in the words that are spoken. It is one thing to hear someone talk, and quite another to recognize the feelings behind those words. It is in those feelings we learn how to love and support people in our life.
  All too often we think about conversations only to figure out what they meant, if we did or said anything to offend them, or to help a person figure things out.  If we choose the later, we may then begin thinking about solutions or options. All of that is positive in that the intentions come from a place of being helpful. However, if we do not listen to the feelings, any action we take can be interpreted as thinking we know more then they do, and that often only feeds the feelings behind the words. Fact of the matter is, more times then not, it often feeds the dilemma in the situation being shared.
  In my many years working with people I have learned that often simply knowing someone really hears your feelings is the best assistance needed in nearly every situation. There is much clarity that comes when someone you speak to can reflect back to you what they hear you feeling. And, you know, if the feeling they observe doesn’t seem to fit for you, then you have another avenue for more conversation by sharing what you do feel.

  We don’t want to be psychotherapist; there are qualified people to do that. What we want is to be compassionate human beings, and connecting to others in real conversation, where a person talks and the other person listens is the only way to truly develop that skill. So, consider “thinking” to seek more understand and see what happens.


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Mother's Day 2014

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

    It is that time of year to "officially" honor our mothers, so I would like to say a few things about mine. My mother was a June Cleaver, or for the younger group, a Mrs. Brady (darn if I can remember her first name, but you know of whom I speak.) Mother was a stay at home mom. She tended the needs of our family with much love. She was a woman of few words, absolutely adored my father and was tremendously grateful for her family, especially her children.  She could make a meal from absolutely nothing but flour, eggs and milk, and clothes from the material sacks that held cooking flour; she was amazingly resourceful.

  My mother had a difficult life growing up; it was a time when our country was rebounding from the Great depression and her family struggled to make ends meet. Her mother, my beloved Granny, was a strong, outspoken woman who was the epitome of a hard worker. Granny was a “marked woman,” in that she was divorced. Despite being in an abusive relationship, working outside the home when her husband couldn’t because of his drinking, she was viewed as “less than” a married woman. Furthermore, back then, women truly made a fraction of the wages a man made despite doing the same job. So, my mother and two of her three brothers spent several years in an orphanage.
  From the events of her childhood, my mother was determined to provide the type of home for her family that her heart ached to have experienced. And, that is precisely what my mother did. She married, had five children, used the skills of living within the means you are given and showered her children with abundant love.
  Economically, we were a poor family, and yet, we were rich with the knowing we were loved above all things of this world. We were also taught what it meant to be loved by a Heavenly Father and to know we were absolutely never alone. It is from that place of unconditional love, the security of knowing that everything we needed would be provided, that my mother taught me how to love so deeply.
  For that, and a hundred other beautiful things I learned from my mother and my Granny, I celebrate the strength and wisdom in action of a mother’s unconditional love. With deepest respect, I honor my mother, Granny and all women who hold the position of “Mother!”
  


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Check out, "This Moon" tab!

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

The Clan Mother for May, Listening Woman, has been posted.


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Dirt

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

  Yesterday I got to play in the dirt! After a very long, cold and snowy winter, what a joy it was to have my hands in the dirt. Turning the soil, weeding through the clumps of growth left from George's tractor absolutely fed my soul. The smell of the dirt filled my whole being with anticipation of what is to come. 

  Broccoli, tomatoes, zucchini, summer squash, sweet potatoes, okra and every color of sweet pepper you can imagine were carefully and strategically placed in the newly turned soil. Worms were plentiful and seemed as grateful to see the light of day and feel the warmth of the air as is this "yankee" human! It was an hour of play that fed my heart and soul! 
  Now for the "gifts" planted within the dirt to feed the bodies of those that gather around the feasting table of this land as we laugh, play and enjoy the bounty Creator has placed in front of us! How grateful I am for dirt!  


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