Father's Day

Posted by: vkwspirit / Category:

Fox News reported this morning that Father's Day ranks 4th in gift-giving; it was surpassed by Mother's Day, Easter and Valentine's Day.  After interviewing several people, it is surmised that Father's are most difficult to "buy" for primarily because what they prefer most is to be appreciated by their family; hence, what they want most is time with them.  Now, isn't that a tremendous thought.  How often do we think about our time and presence with someone as a "gift?" Most of us take for granted the people we interact with every day.  Like the bed you sleep in, or the toothbrush you grab in the morning, it's an item you just take for granted...it's always there.  While many in the world do not have their fathers "always there," most of us have the opportunity to at least know how to get in touch with them....if we want.  The problem as I see it is we all too often take our fathers for granted.  After spending nearly 30 years in education, I can tell you most young people do not really know their father.  Even if the father lives with them, they know little about who their father is outside being their "father."  It was surprising to me to realize how few students even know what their father (or mother for that matter) did for a living.  How is that possible, I asked myself, and then I realized how little time most children spend with their fathers. And, of course, there's the real truth that most kids are too self-absorbed to even think to ask.  For most young people, the father is the representative of the "things" they have in life.  What they do to bring home the "bacon" is of little importance, what is most important is the "bacon." 
Seems very sad to me.  I have two sons that are, in my personal and professional opinion, excellent fathers.  They have a strong work ethic, have been actively involved with their children since birth and do "show up" in their children's life.  And yet, they too are often seen as aloof by their children.  What I know from years of experience, is fathers rarely show all their emotions, instead, they move through their life focused on what their "family" wants, which, in modern day, is "things."  And so, these men feel their worth is measured by what they can provide for their families.  Imagine how that feels?  Then, of course, there's the whole step-father thing....and yet, that too can be viewed in a similar light.
All of this is said to bring some light on understanding who fathers are.  As in all relationships, there are many "colors" from which to choose how to describe a person.  It is from our personal "paint pallette" we choose how to interpret each other's actions.  Perhaps for today, we might pause and consider if it is time to choose another "color" to describe our father.  Today might be an opportunity for us to show our father a new look....it might help them "feel" the brightness by which we "see" them that will give them the "gift" they deserve for all the "things" we took for granted they spent their life "giving" to us!
Let it be noted there are many who never knew their fathers, that missing piece cannot be replaced, only filled with forgiveness and finding other male figures to teach us something about the role of a good father. 


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